Thursday, 26 February 2009

Google Docs Top Trumps

A game I've invented which will shortly take the internet by storm:  

Open up your google docs account and find someone on a nearby computer who wants to have their essay writing talents pitted against your own. Both open the first document saved in your accounts, click 'tools', then 'word count'.  

Youngest starts, and chooses a category in which they think their essay is likely to excel. Whoever's essay is lengthier/more complex/harder to read in the chosen category wins the round. This means the highest number in all except the 'Flesch Reading Ease' category, which goes down as the text gets more complex. Whoever wins gets a point and chooses the category on the next document. You play until one or both of you have gone through all your documents.  

This game is genius because it introduces skill to the standard top trumps pot-luck. All the wins are the hard-earned wins of an essay crisis, rather than statistics for some bullshit car or simpsons character you didn't even build/create. Knowing your opponent also adds a new dimension; my paragraphs tend to be made up of a few, lengthy sentences, but my vocabulary is a polysyllabic smorgasbord of erudite lexiphanicism. Anyone who knows my style will target the 'average sentences per paragraph' but steer well clear of the 'words per sentence' or 'characters per word' categories unless they've got something to prove.  

Most importantly, google docs top trumps translates your long, tedious and hitherto wasted hours of essay-writing into a fun and worthwhile game. Finally, there's a point to doing a humanities degree.  


Wednesday, 25 February 2009


From now on I can blog from my own individ. email address and google account! Soon I will never need to do anything that I cannot do more easily using some google tool or another. Obviously this means that all my communication that isn't just talking to my friends (like I am talking to my fairly pretty friend Julia just now for instance) is done via google monolith. Thus fighting off the Nazis and all that will eventually be utterly irrelevant in the face of to monolith that is GOOGLE. The craftiest trick of the totalitarian monster is its bloody convenience. So enjoy my individ. email address, and my individuality for now it may not last much longer.

aaaaah zombies!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

The Flat Meeting

We were all present. Hannah was a minutes person, she knew her stuff. Jenny was also there, she was (arguably) the honorary flat member. The issues surrounding the vej box were agreed upon. The flat photo will happen and Alex S-O will take it. He is unaware of this, however. I need to put the shower back on the shower stand.



Sunday, 22 February 2009

We always did feel the same, we just saw it from a different point of view.

Dear all,

Nothing as dramatic as falling into a frozen lake has happened to me this week. Maybe ever. So I give you zombie chat, a stoned kid and some other thing.

1. Apparently, Hollywood studios are already bidding to make 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies' into a movie. And the film of 'World War Z' is currently in development. These are exciting times for zombologists, as surely the spread of interest in zombies (documented extensively in the third and fourth installments of Charlotte and Leonore's purely factual and not at all ridiculous "Stop Laughing" radio show) can only be helpful in the coming Zombie War. In other news, I'm going to start putting tinned food and bottled water in the attic of LJ4, so guys, if the zombocalypse comes before our lease is up, that's where I'll be.

2. 'David After Dentist'.
Some little Yankee kid high as a kite on meds from the dentist. My favourite part is "why is this happening to me!". Genuinely awesome.

3. Click here.
From Jimmy Key, the king of late night emailing. Robin has already seen this, and while he did not laugh, he did say 'that is hilarious' in a way I found sincere. So I share it.

Love to the flat (and to Julia, who will totally read this even though she claims she won't.)


Tuesday, 10 February 2009

I am invincible

Worcester college has the nicest lake. I've seen it before and thought it'd be pretty wicked for a swim in the summer, but the thought didn't really cross my mind when I was trudging about in the snow after a punishing game of ring of fire at Ronan's this weekend.

Ronan's pal suggested we check to see if we could walk on the layer of ice covering the lake, and check I did, momentarily, before just putting my entire weight on it anyway and feeling it give way beneath me. I could even hear the crack that my first, tentative foot poke had made as I put both feet on, but by then it was too late. In the fraction of a second between realising I was going to fall into a huge frozen lake and falling into a huge frozen lake I reflected on my foolhardy nature.

I got out pretty quickly and we laughed about it for a bit then started to walk back to Ronan's. On the way we saw one of the porters at Worcester, who had been hassling us all night because Ronan didn't have a guest pass or some bullshit and we were making loads of noise and mess. Anyway, he started getting on to us about being out in the grounds, telling us that 'if someone fell in that Lake they'd be dead in about a minute', whilst failing to notice that I was soaking wet from the neck down and had obviously just fallen in the lake. Proved that wanker wrong - NOT dead. I did have to get a taxi home however, as by the time we got back to Ronan's my muscles were aching and I couldn't stop chattering my teeth.

This is probably my most noteworthy and therefore blogtastic exploit of the last week.


Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Laura and Zombies and Links

LAURA has a thing for zombies. I'm not sure if its a thing thing. I don't think she's got necrophilia. If she has I hope its not contagious, at least not in an air-borne way like in that film with Kevin Spacey (Outbreak, 1995). I don't think she has. Perhaps she's just scared of zombies.

Books and Zombies

Laura wants this book:
Jane Austen:

She owns this book
Survival Guide in case of zombie attack:

This pointless post was by